I Can

How To Become Goal Minded

Image: I Can’t/Can Source: Shutterstock


MJ’s Man In The Mirror lyrics –
“I’m gonna make a change
For once in my life
It’s gonna feel real good
Gonna make a difference
Gonna make it right….


Have you ever watched one of those obscure reality shows like – My Strange Addiction or Hoarders?
The underlying premise of both of those shows is not just the exploitation of the behavior (which makes for good tv eh?) But what I like about each show is how they incorporate behavior psychologists to explore: What got this person to the point of eating their own hair? Or hoarding so many magazines that they can barely move around in their own home? How can they help make this person to make it a goal to discontinue said behavior? Everyday behaviors are just as psychological as they are physiological.
In middle school I WAS the DUFF before the term became pop culture.

But once on a day off from work I decided to look into if there were any underlying causes to being overweight. I started reading about why some of my stop and start efforts always failed. And I found (Hey! It is not just me and my human fallacy of eating too much!) there is a structure in place that unfortunately dooms you to fail. (Hidden sugar, preservatives, excitotoxins,etc) You feel helpless, not in control.

Now I won’t say from that day forward I put everything I learned into practice and became a chiseled piece of work. Nope. But from that day forward I now had a good arsenal of knowledge to see what I had been doing wrong, why I was doing them wrong, and how I could now use that knowledge to make better, wiser, decisions towards my health.


First consider taking time to deeply meditate on what has caused you to forge the behavior. For example, ask yourself questions like “What was my upbringing?” Did you live with someone who obsessed with their weight or yours? Subtly or not so subtly fat shamed you? Were you restricted from junk foods and then later rebelled? Do you have a lot of daily stressors in your life that causes you to choose having a comforting flavor in your mouth?

goal to face the music
Face The Music. — Image: Vogue.it

Acknowledge the reason(s) then forgive yourself (and others if need be.) But don’t linger on the past.
Goal Quote

Image: Quotes Hunter Quote by Thomas S. Monson


To eliminate or modify the behavior. If you don’t, you will have limited goal success.

Why? Because the behavior will just come up again.

Just when you think you have slayed the dragon so to speak, it will rear its ugly head. And if you are not prepared you can lose focus and fall back to what is easy. Say your goal is to lose weight. This is a very broad goal. To make yourself successful you have to focus on how to break down that goal into a smaller obtainable goal such as I will lose 4 pounds of fat though an hour of perusing my walkup 5 days a week and eating half of my plate in veggies.” Write this down. Take note of the tools you need to succeed in the goal, then give it a reasonable end date.


Easy enough right? When you have got a paper to write, a kid to put to bed, food to be cooked, etc. the implementation part gets pushed back and back and back till.. you are back to square one. See that headline above that says “Develop A Game Plan”? That includes making out a schedule that definitively allows you to implement your goal each day. Put it in your phone, put an alarm on it, and work it out.


To sum up: you have acknowledged the background of your previous  failures, you came up with a game plan to circumvent future failures, you implemented said plan like a boss, and now you need to treat yo’ self! BUT preferably with non food rewards because even if you are not focusing your goal on weight loss, rewarding yourself with food can also become a habit, one that is difficult to break especially when the ‘reward’ is high calorie, fat, sugar, and or sodium.

So in review, to create a Behavior modification mindset of change: Face The Music – Acknowledge & forgive, Set Goals, Reward (in non unhealthy behavior ways) for great outcomes.


goal completed puzzle
Artist: Contoured Image: Redbubble

Find a tribe on Facebook that can support you with your goals whether financial, weight oriented or learning something new, there’s a Facebook group for that.

If FB is not your cup of coffee, then look to meetups or workmates and of course don’t forget about FF&R (Family Friends and Roommates) for support and accountability.

I have faith in you. 😉 Thank you for taking the time in your day to read this post. And let me know in the comments how you were able to put this post into action in your life.